Pop Quiz

What does John McCain have in common.....



with my Grandma?

Cue Jepoardy music....... a big shout out to whoever gets the quiz right!

Side note: Isn't this such a cute picture of my Gma? Can you believe that she's 86? She looks 50!

I am grateful that I am getting an M.A. because...

I have watched the "I'm F*%$ing Matt Damon" video way too many times. I highly suggest it as a guilty pleasure. Find it on You Tube by googling "Sarah Silverman" and "Matt Damon". My favorite part is when she spells out obscenities in sign language. Arnold likes the "I'm F*&^ing Ben Affleck" rebuttal.

I feel like the M.A. Program somehow redeems this guilty pleasure.

Sunday is... fish stick day! Today Arnold tried another "American food". Fish Sticks! He even cooked them himself, which is an achivement because he is not much for reading the directions on boxes. They were good, although tartar sauce would've taken things up to a better notch. Arnold thinks they would've have been tasty with honey-mustard. WHAT A GRINGO!

I must agree though, most breaded things taste good with honey-mustard.

Also, we're setting the trap again tonight. Hopefully we won't catch anymore skunks. I witnessed Valentino's "euthanization" on Friday and I am still a little bit troubled by it. But although Valentino is now sleeping peacefully in the big skunk nest in the sky, his SMELL lives on underneath our house.

Episode V: Los Perez Strike Back

Since Arnold and I have broken up with Valentino we've found out a few interesting things. The trapper said that the only reason a skunk would spray under our house is if it was fighting with another skunk, or mating, or fighting with another male over a female. So basically there was either some domestic violence or a bizarre love triangle happening under Casa Perez last Sunday. PERFECT! Multiple skunks!

Wednesday: Mercifully the trapper comes early in the morning and sets up a little cage thing. We throw a little pb and j as bait and wait to see if Valentino takes the bait. And.... HE DID! At 3:30 in the morning I wake up to lots of clanging. Apparently Valentino does not like it in the cage. I am way too lazy to get out of bed into our freezing house(since our ducts run under the house we're not using heat because heat=circulation of skunk fumes) so I just go back to sleep. Valentino wakes me up off and on again for the rest of the night! In the morning Arnold gets up and reports that we have ineed caught the little stinker, but it's not Valentino! It's Valentina! His lovely lady friend. She is hanging upside down in the cage and stretching her arms out. Arnold softens a bit and says she's cute. Personally, I think she looks like a weasel.

Thurday: Trapper comes and picks up Valentina and sets things up for Valentino who at this point is still at large. Except... there is a snafu. Thursday at 3 Arnold calls me to tell me that a greedy little squirrel is stuck in the cage. I told him "That's what he gets for eating food meant for Valentino." Arnold holds up the phone and I can hear the squirrel crying and bashing himself against the wall. Good GRIEF! So we re-set the trap and 8 o'clock our primary offender wandered in. Currently, Valentino is sleeping in his cage in the backyard. He is kind of a lazy-butt, unlike Valentina he's not even trying to get out.

I feel kind of bad about the forthcoming fate of these little guys but Arnold says "Really?, they were having smelly skunk SEX under our house." I have to concede, it is a very good point. Let it be known, smelly SKUNK sex is not permitted in or around Casa Perez.

So that's how it stands. 2 skunks in 2 days. I guess in the coming days we'll find out if there are more...

Dear Valentino,

I'm sorry to say that we need to break up. It's not me, it's not Arnold, it's you. I know the truth hurts, but I have to say it. We wanted it so badly to work out. We're not into "euthanizing" as Animal Control so sweetly put it We bought mothballs and such to encourage you to fly the coop and make your way in the world. But now you've pissed us off and we have no choice to free you from your mortal coils and dispatch you to skunk heaven. It really boils down to this. I love Arnold more than you, and when you decided to spread the "skunk love" so strongly that Arnold woke up at 5 am last night I decided you were through. You might have been saved except that when Arnold went out to the living room to find out what you were up to, he literally choked on your overzealous perfume. 10 hours later Arnold is still boiling vinegar and febreezing EVERYTHING to get Casa Perez back to normal. Plus, you pissed me off when you went yowling by the window(open of course to release your stench) at 9 am. You are supposed to be sleeping during daylight hours. It is for these reasons that we've hit the end of the road Valentino. We had our good times, watching you stumble back from your nocturnal partying and listening to you scratch around downstairs, but I'm not one to stay in abusive relationships. It was interesting while it lasted and we wish you well in the hereafter.

Sincerely,

Amelie & Arnold Maghanoy de Perez

Enchanted Forest : The gift that keeps giving

This morning I woke up to a barking dog in my backyard. I swear, everyday it is some new wildlife that is out there. In the morning I am just not in the mood to deal with these things, so I walked up to the window, stared at the dog and told him. "It's your fault your stuck back here, YOU figure out how to get back out." The dog wagged his tail for a minute and then started barking again. I mean, HONESTLY!

I sat down on the couch to contemplate, said, stupid, barking dog. This is the moment that Valentino chose to rummage around under my feet. I guess he didn't read the eviction notice he was served a few days ago. This leads me to become greatly concerned about the growing problem of illiteracy among the skunk population.

This is not to mention, the camellia greedy squirrels that think Casa Perez is their own personal jungle gym. Thank God Arnold produced breakfast before things could get overwhelming. Also it is very amusing that Arnold has a lot of trouble remembering how to pronounce skunk. It sounds like something between "skank" and "gun" when he says it. I of course find this hilarious. This might disqualify me for the 2008 wife of the year award.

I got a Valentine today! From my favorite toddler, Bitty D! Thanks Dora!

Happy Valentine's Day everybody!

Sincerely,

The habitants of Casa Perez, Arnold, Amelie and the soon to be evicted Valentino(the skunk)

When we bought a house, I knew that maintaining it was going to be annoyingly expensive. Since we've bought the house I've contracted many services that I have not previously had to deal with, arborists, plumbers etc. However one expense that I never imagined writing a check for was.... dum, da, da dum! Skunk trapping and removal services.

That's right, courtesy of the Enchanted Forest that is our backyard, we now have our own residence skunk that lives underneath our house, our deck or somewhere. For reasons that should be very clear to anyone who has seen Looney Tunes, it is inadvisable to go looking for skunks. But we can hear him skittering around and of course there is the lovely eau de skunk permeating every corner of Casa Perez.

Brilliant!

Anyways, for a long time we were unsure of whether it was really living under our house until Arnold confirmed a skunk sighting this morning. Eyewitness Arnold reports "He walks funny, like he's been out drunk, partying with the ladies all night." Arnold then did a jaunty little dance to illustrate.

Thanks to the wonder of the information superhighway I found out that you can pay the Sacramento Wildlife Commission $20 to trap and remove your skunks. Until their eviction though I think he should get a name?

I"ll open it up to the masses? What should or skunk be named?

Going the distance.... but not for speed. (Cake people, I'm a Sactown girl now!)

I decided this week that I am going to run a 10K. "Run", of course being a euphemism for "complete". The race is going to be in May, right before Lisa's wedding in which I have the all important role of bridesmaid (bridesmatron?, ugh that sounds old!) Anyways, I have wanted to do a 10K for awhile but now I think I'm ready to commit. The wedding is extra incentive,if I gain even a pound before that wedding I will not fit into my dress... so it's off to the treadmill I go. And no, this is only like 5% vanity, it's 95% not wanting to have to alter my dress!

Tips anyone? So far, I can run 1/2 a mile. I can "complete" 5K.

Tomorrow is Super Tuesday and I LOVE it! It is so fun here in California with all the politicians running around the state and sucking up to us. :) Bill Clinton was at Cal Expo, mere walking distance from my office... I considered going to re-live my teenage glory of Net Day, when he came to a local Concord High School to celebrate the installation of the internet.... (oh my gosh, I just read that line and realized that in about 10 years or so, some child is going to roll their eyes at me as I describe meeting the president at an "internet" celebration) Back to the point... elections. I have never been one to get too excited about elections but I think that voting is important and I think this year is especially exciting because the country is regaining hope after these last years of fear and war and everything bad. I don't think a new president will magically turn things around, I mean it takes awhile to get out of a hole this deep, but I think the primaries and the candidates are giving everybody reason to feel hopeful that things can get better again.

Also I have a special message from my Grandmother to the voting public at large. "Vote for Hillary Clinton. I want to see a woman president in my lifetime and I'm already 86! I don't know if I can hold out much longer." My Grandmother also points out that she is a registered Republican but does not see that as an obstacle to voting for Hillary, just in case you needed some extra persuasion.