My looney, uh I mean sweet, kind friend StrongBad helps with the packing... 

 

Amelie "packs". StrongBad was happy with the pic saying "Good, you look totally evil! It's the real you!." 

Packing Bites

Quote of the day: "It was so awesome, I flat ironed my hair! I looked like Mozart!" - StrongBad

So we are leaving the craparmtent, very soon! This is good news. The bad news is that this involves a significant amount of physical labor i.e. packing. The other bad news is that graduate studies have almost totally incapacited Arnold. Luckily I have a secret weapon, my good friend StrongBad, thus named because she is freakishly strong despite her small frame. At our old work we used to call her fangorious linebacker but she got braces so now I am the only snaggletooth between the two of us...

So sweet innocent StrongBad volunteers to come over to help me pack, a good thing because I've found out that packing well is another thing I can add to the list of things I hate/am not good at... Since I basically couldn't even fathom where to start Strong Bad stole the opportunity to boss me around. Normally this kind of political coup would lead to disagreements, but I let her have her fun seeing as she was basically packing my kitchen for me while I stood there like an idiot trying to participate in the process by saying things like "I have a colander" "Would you like water?" Anyways the upshot is that the kichen was miraculously totally packed in three hours and I mean "we" worked the whole three hours, you know if you don't count dance breaks. As for the rest of the story, I think some pics to come will tell the rest of the story...

Filipino Tourettes: The inability to stop saying the truth/your opinion about situations even when it may be contrary to your best interests...

It has recently come to my attention that the heads of the Maghanoy clan Ma and Pa Maghanoy have infiltrated the blog, I figured this out when my Mom used the word "crapartment", a terminology that Maghanoy.com is defenitely going to have to patent. So... now is the time when we pay tribute to my GAD and BWM...

GAD - Grumpy Asian Dad, my Dad is the original, you'll never catch him Chhimi
BWM - Bossy White Mom, my Mom perfects the art of "directing" people, Arnold says I'm getting close to achieving her glory, but I'm not sure, it might be unreachable...

For the record Arnold is SCH - Spacey Colombian Husband

but I digress...

to fully understand the condition of Filipino Tourettes from which I suffer one has to understand the conditions in which it is formed... additionally although Filipino Tourettes is disproportionately found in the Filipino communities it is not a disease that discriminates...

Setting the stage for Filipino Tourettes

1) BWM - My mother is very honest. I don't mean like "No I didn't kill that man honest" I mean "No my child is 11, not 10, so please charge us the full price honest" As a result of this I not only have an aversion to lying, but when I do attempt the feat I am terrible at it, like Pinocchio obvious. I mean I should just take out a marker and write "Guilty on my forehead" because it would be better than the faces and stammering... My youngest brother escaped the honesty gene, as a child he was practically a pathological liar. Also my Mom likes to give her opinion about things, a trait that I've also seemed to inherit.

2)GAD - Like my Grandma, my Dad is almost totally incapable of not saying what he is thinking. Unlike my Grandma he cannot blame this on being over 80. The minute something pops into his head he lets it out his mouth...

" Honey I can't talk any longer, I have to go eat peanuts" - a phone conversation with me

"My God you are old" - Happy Birthday message, imagine him saying this with the shock of realization, not a teasing voice...

"Why the hell don't you have more parking! It's ridiculous" - to an innocent hostess at a strip mall restaurant, where incidentally parking was plentiful, there just weren't any spots in the first two rows

"I don't like you" - response to my BWM parking poorly (don't feel sorry for her, she can hold her own)

So there you go, the perfect conditions for developing Filipino Tourettes a condition which luckily my current supervisor finds extremely amusing, lucky thing since Filipino Tourettes can be almost like a disability under restrictive professional situations.

FYI - I changed the settings on the blog, now anybody can write comments without logging in.

Good news, I think?

So according to my super-duper lawyer Joshua, I am totally in the right regarding this whole "no heat" debacle in my crapartment. So I just sent an e-mail to my landlord letting him know that I plan to take him to small claims court if he doesn't cough up the rent he owes me! Quite frankly, sending off my angry missive was terrifying. I'm not really into having conflict (with people outside the family of course). Mr. Arnold Perez can attest that the women in my family have no problem engaging in mortal combat over something trivial like coffee filters.

The person who really sold me on this whole small claims court thing, besides my new BFF Joshua the lawyer is my grandma! She got me all fired up! "Small claims court is easy! He's a lazy person! He doesn't care about you! Our family are fighters!" But now that I can't take it back I might need to call my Grandma again for a little pep talk. I mean seriously, am I the kind of person who can defend myself in court. People are always telling me I should be a lawyer becuase I'm ... uh persuasive, (Grandma says "intimidating", but c'mon I'm only 5'4" Anyways it's too late now, I sent off the e-mail and we all know you can't take that back, so I'll just have to stick it out and see what happens... Hoping for the best! And if I do have to go to court, you are all welcome to sit in the audience!

Quote of the day "You have to choose Emily, good or evil" - Sonia Vega (Vega for the record tends to advocate evil, even though I choose to believe that she is good.)

Serious quote of the date: "Poverty is the worst form of violence" - Mohandas Gandhi

So today I am being initiated into a rite of passage of American culture, meeting with a lawyer! Thanks to my awesome employer I have access to a 1/2 hour consultation with a renters rights lawyer and will find out once an for all if what my landlord is doing is illegal or not. Good thing too since according to the news another cold front is about to move through town. Before today my only contact with legal proceedings was sharing meals with Mags'family. Seriously, you have to have your head straight if you are going to survive a meal with them, the dinnertime conversation is fierce...

On the front of other noticias it looks like we'll be able to move into our new place a week earlier than possible which is all kinds of good news! Especially seeing as our new place 1) Comes equipped with a new technology known as a "functioning heater" 2) Does not suck 3) Has a bathroom that is not located in the kitchen 4) Has doors 5) Does not come with evil landlord intent our killing Arnold and I via carbon monoxide poisoning our wasp attacks I'm SO VERY EXCITED! Also next week is Ash Wednesday which means the beginning of LENT! I love Lent and this year is going to be even better, a time of renewal and new beginnings in a new place to live!

Mene, mene tekel parsin

The writings on the Wall!
Welcome to BS Thursday. Last night the BS studied Daniel 5 and I've got to say that so far Daniel is one of the better books of the bible, story wise. Highly reccomended what with Lions and fiery furnaces and freaky dream sequences... but anyways... Chapter 5 start out with Nebuchnezzer's son(now King of Babylon) throwing a wild party with all his wives and concubines and buddies. First question? Why do you need concubines if you can have multiple wives? So, not content just to have his party the son(Belteshazzar) decides to haul out the good china, which were goblets from the temple that his Dad Nebuchanezzer had swiped during his takeover of Jerusalem. So then they start using the goblets to drink to various idols they've had carved for themselves. This... is so very bad, it's like using communion cups to drink to another god, such a very stupid thing to do... seems like Belteshazzar didn't really get the message about the whole "Don't go against God thing" his Dad wrote about in his letter to the WORLD. Anyways they are all enjoying themselves when a disembodied hand appears on the wall and writes out "mene, mene tekel parsin" Everyone freaks out as you do when disembodied hands appear and start writing stuff on the wall that you don't understand. Belteshezzer apparently gets very "pale" and according to the Kings James Translation his "Loins go slack" Hee! This just means that he freaked out and fell down, but it is much funnier the other way!

Anyways they are all freaking out and then Belteshazzar's wife remembers that Daniel is still alive and she's like "Don't get pale, Daniel can help us out!" So they get Daniel and Belteshazzar says "Hey if you interpret this I will give you purple robes, put you in charge and give you large gold jewelry." This gives me an image of Daniel as a weirdly dressed rapper, but you know that's just me. So Daniel comes and says, "No prob Bob with the interpretation but no thanks on the purple, gold and powerful political position" So he starts in on the interpretation but before he does he take quite a few paragraphs to give Belteshazzar the smack down for not being like his father Nebuchadnezzer, for not learning anything from his father's "letter to the world" and for being a prideful jerk. That's the short version anyways... then he translates the writing which means, in paraphrase... "God is going to kill you and give Babylon to the Medes and the Persians" There was no word on Belteshazzar's reaction to this rather bad news except that he gives Daniel the purple robes and gold jewelry... oh yeah, also that night someone killed him and Belteshazzar was succeeded by some guy whose name I forgot... Sweet!

So life lessons from bible study...
1) Turning your back on God is especially bad if your parents were taught to worship God through being sent to the wilderness for seven years.
2) When a disembodied hand comes to warn you, your days are numbered...

Other fun facts:

Last night was potato night courtesy of Lolista and the magic potato bag!

Did you know that modern day Babylon is Iraq and that the palace where all of these stories took place still stands! Of course stupid Saddam jacked most of it up by covering up ancient bricks that said Nebucdnezzer on them with bricks that said "Saddam rules" or something of that nature. What a tool!

Next week: The Bible study goes to IKEA to celebrate consumerism and style!

The controversy continues...

Well our disagreement with the our landlord rages on with our the owner of crapartment saying he was "sorry for our inconvenience" (since when has not having heat in the winter been considered an inconvenience?) He's currently vacationing in Arizona which is apparently why he has chosen not to answer any of my e-mails and has no idea when our heat will be restored. What a swell guy! I am heartened by knowing I am not the first in my family to deal with ridiculous housing situations. For reference I provide you with an account a link to Sage and Randy's account of "the siege" http://www.thepackage.com/randy/argentina/

To lighten my dark mood surrounding my dubious housing situation I provide you with some more family fun a vignette from baby brother Maghanoy...

Okay okay your going to love this, This one time in back in high school In my government class, we were doing debates, and on that day the debate was euthanasia, near the end of the debate after the whole time of me intently being tuned in to both of the opposing teams, the students were allowed to go up to the podium and ask a question to any side. So I go up to the podium and I'm about to ask my question when everything I had listened about euthanasia totally erased out of my mind! So I looked at the teacher and said, "Okay so this euthanasia has nothing to do with asia right?" The whole class and the teacher erupted in laughter, as for me I lost talking privalges for the rest of the school year!

That's right more awesomeness from the Maghanoys! Everytime the landlord gives me trouble I just take a deep breath and say to myself "Don't worry! You are Maghanoy" Okay, maybe I rant and rage about him to whoever is closest, but still... Maghanoy's don't take this kind of abuse!

Happy Birthday Chhimi!!!!

For those of you who don't know Chhimi, he is one of my co-workers and the person who is generously hosting this webpage. Also he helped me set it up and taught me how to use it and stuff. In short... he's smart and great and today he is also a birthday boy, "ahem" I mean man. In honor of Chhimi and all his G-A-Dness I have written this "poem"....

GAD - Grumpy Asian Dad

Chimi is grumpy
but he shares his sushi
and offers free heaters
and has a great wife
and takes good pictures
so even though he calls me and leaves creepy anonymous messages on my voice mail
like a stalker
he holds a special place in the heart
of everyone who knows him
also he will be a very good GAD

Also congratulations to his wife Tabitha who I hear threw him a very embaressing suprise birthday party. Chhimi was grumping about how embaressing it was when I saw him so I know it made him feel special and loved! Good job Tabitha and 4th floor!

Quote of the day: "Wow it's actually snowing in our living room." - Arnold Perez

So I thought I'd let you know in addition to spending time spreading the gospel of what it means to be a Maghanoy that I also spend time giving interviews as I am apparently an extremely knowledgable person.

Yesterday I gave a radio interview for a WHOLE HOUR IN SPANISH! Can I say it again ONE HOUR - IN SPANISH Yes my friends, I am now famous throughout the central valley Spanish speakers who were listening to Radio Bilingue yesterday at 10:00 a.m. Apparently I also know a lot about nutrition, cancer prevention and the history of worksite wellness programs throughout California and the world. Or at least I acted very knowledgable as I said things like "Fruits and Vegetables contain powerful phytonutrtrients which are essential to good health." and started sentences with "In my opinion..." Anyone who knows me, knows that I love to give my opinion about anything... i.e. "My opinion is that tree frogs are overrated" So although I have to admit that the first ten minutes of my live interview were nervewracking and maybe not as "polished" by the end I was enjoying playing the role of knowledgable academic and caring community worker. So that Mr. Scando is what I do at work. Today will not be as exciting. Today I will be proofing translations. Bleh!

BS Recap...

Okay so I took pictures of the crapartment but I feel they do not convey it's pure essence of disgusting so I'm not going to post them. Sorry to dissapoint... but good news, today is Thursday. I've decided that Thursday is BS update day. That is my musings from last nights bible study which could possibly be BS.... see what I did there? With the double meaning? Some would say pointing out a joke makes it less funny but I say WHATEVER humor nazi...

So the BS is studying the book of Daniel, famous for stories of lions and people burning up and being saved by Angels and stuff, that makes those who went to Sunday school think about animated cartoons and felt puppets. Last night we read Chapter 4 which was a little crazy.

Summary: King Nebucadnezzer writes a letter to the WORLD, yes the world, weird. Anyways the letter says that God took him out to live like an animal in the wilderness for seven years (It doesn't mention how God took him out to the wilderness, at bible study there was speculation about this, my vote was for magical whirlwind, but I think that is just a result of too much Harry Potter) until he decided that God was the only true God and repented of his sins including excessive pride and opressing the poor. And he writes the letter to let everyone know that God is the living God over all the world.

Can you imagine if that happened right now? King Nebachadnezzer was one of the most powerful leaders in the world at that time. It's like if President Bush held a press conference to address the world and tell them that God made him spend time living with animals in the wilderness until he repented of his sins... it would be crazy! Enjoyable of course, but very unexpected.

So the other part is that Nebuchadnezzer got a warning about this whole "you will be exiled to live in the wilderness if you do not repent" plan a year before it actually happened.

Possible lessons? If you get a warning like that, try to heed it before you get kicked out into the desert. Also if you get a warning from God, best to heed it... also don't be arrogant or opress the poor... So much work to do, it's exhausting ...

Props to Susan who doesn't read blogs but made a mean pasta last night...

So the big news is "We're MOVING!" That's right we are leaving the crapartment and four years of suffering behind us. I think maybe tonight I will go home and do a pictorial illustrating everything I hate about the crapartment from the pink carpeting, the elementary school style ceiling to the peeling countertops. Too bad I didn't take a picture of the giant HOLE IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM before it met it's demise. Poor hole, it got covered over with a plank and contact paper, the kind of workmanship the crapartment is only too famous for. Oh crapartment it was a long and crappy four years.... thanks for the memories!